Even when my day is a bad one -- professionally or personally -- it always feels better when I can help one of my kids solve one of his problems.
When I arrived at my older son's school this afternoon, he was in full meltdown. His shoes were off, his toes were dug deep into the mulch of the playground, tears were streaming down his face. He was furious with one boy in particular who had pulled him off the jungle gym and with a group of three who were mocking his angry yells of "Shut up!"
The teacher was right there but was just letting it all happen. Later she admitted to me that she didn't know quite what to do and was worried about my son. I told the other boys to please stop it and my son's hurt feelings finally seemed to register with them.
He and I went inside and I held him as his gasping sobs slowed down. He started telling me how he got hurt in 6 different places that day and how it had been the worst of his life.
We talked and gathered his lunchbox and papers.
He attends a Montessori school and their philosophy encourages specific conflict resolution tactics between children.
My son didn't want to confront his classmate, but as we talked he admitted that he had told another kid to stop hurting him and it worked. My son - like many six-year-olds - calls a stubbed toe a serious hurt. I didn't see any bruises or marks from the six hurts he pointed out to me in detail.
We ended his day at school with a conversation with the other little boy, who had his own hurts he wanted to discuss.
Unfortunately it was like the current Middle East Peace negotiations: each side had a top issue that was the only one worth discussing.
It was definitely a small victory, but I'll take it.
My little guy went from hysterically angry to calm enough to face the other boy. And, on the way home, he was his usual cheery self.
We talked about the other child a little bit and how he bothered other kids at school also. I said that maybe he wanted to be friends, and he didn't know any other way to communicate that.
I knew that when my son changed the topic of conversation -- "What can I have for a snack when we get home?" -- he was ready to move on. So we did.
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